Alot of things happened again and again, i always know whats the ending will be yet i still always wanted to keep trying and always believe there's miracle. But i was wrong again and again..treat it as i've never been hurt for the same causes or what so ever.


For the past one month, who ever came across in my life i will treat it as part of my memories..and try not to let things happened the same way again. I was fucked up and dumb as usual. Im old already,i need to grow up.

我真的真的很想你..如果能重来我绝对不会放手

stages of growing up

the stage of growing up from cute..to

very very "cute"
to

Presently,i look normal. lol. people really changes,as well as friends and surroundings change. But its been years,ive didnt change my inner heart still as emotional and some people still think im a heartbreaker / player. or i should be know as a emotional heartbreaker.

Im currently 25 reaching 26. Ive aged. :(

过去的日子仿佛在笑我，笑我的懦弱，也笑我的执著

最后一次打开电脑,最后一次打开自己熟悉的登陆的博客.看着私人日记,似乎从前所有的往事都渐渐浮现在眼前.这些年来,我得到什么,而又失去什么,无论什么事情,自己一味的去固执,自己喜欢的却怎么样都不会放手,到了最后狠狠的摔一交才知道什么是痛.

回忆着我的童年，永远是留下的一种伤疤，无法抹去。给我一把刀我继续划着自己的心，它是很痛苦很难受的 如果真的只有一种叫做死的逃避，我宁愿绝望到放掉一切的生活了。

我以為,現在不會再記得你了,
我以為,我早就把你埋藏在我心裡最深處,
我以為,我可以一直都可以這樣欺騙自己.

一直以來我都是喜歡用文字來表達自己的喜怒哀樂,自己的感性.
喜歡用文字強姦自己的靈魂,總而言之文字是我靈魂的棲息之地吧!
有人都認為我是一個人傷感的人,也有人說我是一個悲觀的人.
很多人告訴我,做人要向好的方面去想,要樂觀,每天都要保持好心情.

P.S: 过去的日子仿佛在笑我，笑我的懦弱，也笑我的执著.

I cant sleep..it seems like another emotional night for me..i dont know why..maybe i expected too much for myself in life..

when im down i really feel like finding someone to talk to or hug to sleep at night..i just need love..i dont dare to make myself falling in love again.im afraid of falling apart.. from it..

or maybe i really really just need a companion.. its been repeating again and again in my life.

Finally ive got in..and all i need now is to remember every single thing ive done in the store and what suppose to do done and whats not. Im still used to the previous company style, guess it really takes time to adapt to the new environment.. :(

hope i wont be losing out..i believed as time passes by ill be able to make it like how i used to do it in Y-3. :)


FIGHTING!! JIAYOU!! NICOLE TAY!!!!!!!!!

Just went for second interview today, hopefully i can get it in..though it might be a tough job plus disciplinary etc.. but i really need to move on man..i cant keep staying on the same spots for years and not doing anything to gain more experience..not always by drinking.. :(

Anyway drinking dont solve anything..and i don gain anything from there too. so hopefully it will be a turning point in my life and i must make sure that it turn out well.. i cant afford to waste any more time im old..!!!


I hope im able to receive good news soon.. by next week.. :) that really my turning point in life.. :)

Memorize the memories. Loves <3

hopefully i can get it.

ill never let it go easily again.

Its my life.