DEPRESSION??

my good fren asked me a few questions yesterday, she asked: "have u been sleeping good lately?", "y u keep drinking water?", "y u ate like 3 main courses for breakfast, lunch and dinner, its like 3 of each. so is like 9 main courses a day?" "y u been drinking and smoking?" i was like er.. i answered: no i don sleep well. i was drunk last night so i drank alot of water now. er i ate 3 diff courses for each meal cuz i just feel like eating and puke it out. ive been drinking cuz i cant sleep at night, ive been smoking alot cuz i don know wad to do sometimes or when im stressed. but she said she thks my depression systoms are like coming back, she thinks ive got depression now. she ask me consult a doctor soon. i was like er.. and i stare into space. i don know wad to say. cuz i used to have depression , that i ate the medication like for 1 month which it suppose to be like for 3 months. and a pill when i cant sleep at night. but ive stopped. cuz the morning pill makes me stone, and just keep drinking water. and not alcohol at night. the night pill makes me sleep soundly but i took it like everyday. and i only have a month supply. i don wan to waste it. as doctor said i cant take it for long term. the doctor even recommended me to tan tock seng for psychologist. but i nvr go. when i went back to the doc that i need more pills, he scolded me and recommended me to IMH. but i didnt go too yet he still gave me a month supply that time. that was the last time i went to see him. but im thking now.. recently im blanked. i reacted slow. i don know wad im doin sometimes. i wan to cry but cant cry. i wanted to kill myself sometimes. i thk is the alcohol prob not the depression. bt hard to say as i used to have depression. or maybe im just normal? but in my mind ive been thking about alot of things alot..things that don make me happy at all. sometimes im thking should i see doc and take pills again? but depressants wil make ppl gain wt faster than alcohol. as iwill just keep drinking water. and stoning or react slow.