I had a severe pain in between my chest last sat during work at night..i thought maybe i had too much alcohol or i smoke too much that y i had that kind of sharp pain till i cant breathe easily. It wasnt bout it, i didnt smoke nor drink much that night in fact. I cried..cause it was really painful and i nearly feel like going to the nearest hospital, but i didnt.

After a while, that pain went off but i had severe gastric pain after that..i dont know what strong with my body recently..that gastric pain didnt really go off till now..i didnt eat much yesterday and this morning.. whenever i started to munch something i feel the pain in my gastric..so i ate damn slow..trying to absorb the food.

I guess my body starts to react after 7 to 8 yrs of unhealthy diet..in fact i don really dare to visit the doctor no matter how painful it was. I dont wish to know the truth of what happen in my body.. i hate it..i don want to know.


I know i need treatment..or maybe not..maybe i was just not feeling well..for a while..it wont last for long..*fingers crossed*


And my temper is getting worst..i get agitated and frustrated easily. I don wish to answer or see or entertain some people whom i don wish to contact with..just leave me alone at times. But still thanks to my parent for bringing me to this world, with out my dad and mom i wont be around. Pardon me for not taking care of myself and let u guys worried. I wished i can turn back time or back to the period of time when i was fat that time so that i wont be mentally torturing myself or feel that the world is so realistic. Its pathethic.


Lastly i know that we are born alone, and die alone.