Im really afraid to die.

Im really afraid to die.
I wish i can wake up everyday.
Reasons y i am thinking this way is becuz,
IM BULIMIC for years.
IM easily depressed.
i cant hold my emotion.
i need medication & on medication that doctor gave.
but my medication is u.

I cant stop vomitting out the food i had.
i wan to stop.
but my mind been telling me "no u shouldnt"
U are still fat!
i know im fat.
i know i have no figure.
i know im flat.

My dad ask me a question yesterday about when i wan to get married.
he said he is getting old,
he wants a grandson/daughter.
but he know that i got no one to get married to..
ha he said no one will want me. haha!

then he asked me to go for body check up.
he knows im sick.
he wants me to check wad wrong with my body now,
rather than having lots of sickness when im old.

There's a secret about me.
I don dare to admit to hospital even if im freaking sick.
I don wan to know about the results.
I don wan to go for body check up.
I know i will have alot of illness.
I just don wan to face it.
NO!